Recently, we sat down Kathryn of Struggling Buddha to talk bisexuality (yes, they do exist), medicinal marijuana and school girl fantasies. Along the way, we make sweeping generalizations and will probably offend the more sensitive types. If you can handle it, read on….
Before we start, can you give me a little background on Struggling Buddha and stuff?
You mean the actual Buddha or my blog?
Your blog, I am familiar with Buddha LOL
The tagline is “Finding Happiness in a Shitty World.” Basically, I started noticing how angry I was all the time and also noticed how angry everyone else seemed to be as well. I spent 16 years riding MUNI in SF. If you ever wanna see the worst of humanity, I recommend riding MUNI — you see the worst of humanity on those tin shitboxes. Everyone is so palpably angry.
So I started trying to figure out why I was so angry and how I could combat that rage. And I started writing about that struggle.
When did you begin?
Three? Maybe four years ago?
And are you happier?
Ha! Good question! Yes and no. I have learned to control my rage better.
I have learned to live more in the immediate moment and not to get butthurt about things that I have no control over or things that don’t matter. But, I’ve also trained myself to have more empathy, which I love, but it’s been heartbreaking.
Once you start seeing and hearing all of the injustice and unfairness in life and really feeling those things, it’s hard not to get overwhelmed.
So how do you cope?
I smoke a lot of weed.
Hmmm, Sessions might not like that. Medicinal of course
That sounds flippant, but I’m partly serious. I started this journey in part because I developed chronic neuropathy in my feet, and I was so angry and “why me?” about it.
And when I started smoking weed for the pain, I couldn’t help but notice it also put me in a better mood.
Yea, so I’ve heard. The weed part, not you personally.
I’ve become a huge advocate for medical marijuana. Which is funny since my boyfriend in college was pretty much the campus weed dealer. I just never really liked it that much. Not my drug of choice. I also meditate, though that’s a struggle for me too.
Well, things have obviously changed a tad since college.
Ha! Yes, the weed is better and so is my choice in partners.
What do you want to accomplish with Struggling Buddha?
I guess it’s just to encourage people to get outside of their own heads for a while. The things that make us angry tend to be so petty and small. It’s very American–to let your entire day be ruined because your barista didn’t make your coffee correctly or someone stole your parking space. These aren’t real problems; they’re problems you have when you’ve become accustomed to being comfortable all of the time and therefore become entitled.
I push the concept of empathy a lot. As sad as it makes me sometimes, it’s one of the things I feel like makes you a better person. It gets you out of your entrenched life and worldview. It opens your mind and heart.
It makes you a more compassionate human, and right now, the world needs all of the compassionate people it can get.
Don’t get me wrong, I can still be a total bitchface, but it’s more like now I’ll judge you for your poor taste in shoes or hairstyles, but not because you’re homeless.
Speaking of worldviews, you’ve been known to have an opinion or two. Wanna play a game with me?
Atta girl! I throw out some concepts, you respond.
How long would you survive in Walking Dead?
I used to think I was scrappy enough to survive for a while, but the other night I spent 10 minutes tearing the kitchen apart looking for a foil cutter so I could open a bottle of wine and thought “I’m so fucked.”
I hate nature and guns and being without so.
Fuck, Marry, Kill – Elizabeth Warren, Hillary, Kamala Harris?
Hmmmm…marry Liz. I love her. Fuck Kamala because she’s pretty hot. I guess I’d have to kill Hill, but I bear her no ill will. That woman worked her ass off. But I would definitely sign up to be the white meat in the middle of a Barack and Michelle sandwich.
Transgender Bathroom Bills?
Honestly, it’s just more stupid GOP shit to get people riled up so they’re not paying attention to the real evils. And more GOP congressmen have been arrested for lewd acts in bathrooms than trans folks have so let’s start with old, gross white dudes.
Who would play you in the Lifetime version?
Queen Latifah. As my wife says, I am really a sassy black woman inside
We hear your wife drinks a lot of beer, did you drive her to it? (Actually, Melissa is a friend of ours and runs The Good Hop – A Craft Beer Store in Oakland – here’s her story)
No, she started that journey before I was on the scene. I can report that she started eating meat around the time we started dating, which was a relief to me. For our honeymoon, we went to Hill Country in Texas and ate at 8 BBQ joints in 7 days.
She does probably drink a lot more bourbon than she used too, though, That’s my fault.
Home Depot or Loews?
Is this some trick lesbian question? If you need me, I’ll be at whatever bar is closest to either one of those places while my wife shops for O-rings and whatnot. O-rings…that sounds dirty.
Well I’m bisexual, so I let my butch wife handle all the home improvement stuff
Of course, it’s a trick lesbian question you could lose your card if you answer wrong.
What is the girliest thing in your closet?
Hmmm…I do have a little sexy plaid skirt. For those schoolgirl fantasies…
I wasn’t thinking the same thing
Also, I have a big pink vibrator in there. Is that girlie? I don’t know.
It’s girlie unless it has a kick stand, then that’s just fucking butch!
Speaking of bisexuals, do they really exist? If so, why doesn’t every gay man believe it? As in “He says he’s bi, but oh please….”
I used to think they didn’t really exist, especially in men. I used to think bi men were really just gays waiting to come out. In society, it’s easier for men to ease into it by saying they still like women. For me, though, I think I’m more suited to be in a relationship with a woman, but I like sleeping with men a little better. Just a personal preference
Truth be told, I really miss giving blow jobs.
I don’t know if you can put that part in your story but it’s true
Depends if what you think Melissa would think of that comment – your call. We don’t mess with domestic bliss.
Melissa’s very cool about my man fetish in that she encourages me to look as much as I want. I definitely have a type, and if she sees a guy who is my type, she’ll point him out for me to ogle
And she likes to watch me flirt with boys
But no touching. I like being in a relationship with a woman, though. My personality is such that I require some handling. I don’t think men are strong enough for me.
I don’t care where you get hungry as long as you come home for dinner
I have a good friend Pat who came out quite late in life, I always used to tell her – you’re the man I always wanted to be
What a great compliment!
Then she’d punch me and she hadn’t come out yet. Who woulda thunk?
I think it’s much more common for women to decide to be with a woman later in life. Society doesn’t poo-poo two women together like they do men. And women, in general, tend to be more open-minded and willing to try something new, as it were.
I think men are more physical and visual thus they see the world in black or white – you either like one or the other. Women are more fluid. Since these are sweeping generalizations, there bound to piss someone off and we’ll get comments.
Obviously, yes, we’re both generalizing
I just wish we could learn how to be kinder to one another and accept our differences without all the fear and hatred. I think people need to spend more time working on themselves to achieve this. We spend all this time and money at the gym because we want healthier bodies then neglect our minds.
I mean, understanding yourself and your insignificant place in the universe is healthy.
You’ve been tapping the pipe for that one
I dunno, a while back I noticed that because of my smart phone and all the access it provides to stupid distractions, I no longer just sit with myself and think about things anymore.
Isn’t that what the bourbon is for?
I think it’s important to sit quietly and let your mind think about shit–even the unpleasant shit. That’s from whence creativity and innovations spring.
Give my best to the Mrs and keep tokin’ for medicinal reasons of course!
Thanks for your time, it was a pleasure. I may have to go dig out my plaid school girl uniform LOL
Oh yes, break out that skirt, gurl!
Struggling Buddha Gets Real
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